Immortal Beloved

Posted by Popeye Theophilus Barrnumb

May 30 2018

(poem: W H Auden)

Shawna Denise Hensley

April 5, 1972 – December 15, 2017

Requiescat In Pace

520 530

My Heroine For All Time.
Love, Always,
Forever, and Ever,
and Then Some….
– William

Ave Atque Vale

Shawna’s death notice, obituary and online memorial were scant, almost nonexistent. This is what they should have said, at the very least, and even this does not do her justice:

Shawna Denise Hensley, born April 5, 1972 in Nevada City, CA, passed on December 15, 2017, age 45, in Davis, CA due to a tragic accident. Shawna was a truly wonderful person. The kind of person who, after they have passed, you do not have to skew the facts, or build up their life-reality, or outright lie, about who and what they were and chose to be and what they did, and how they lived their life, just to make them sound decent or good.

Shawna was a rare, truly good person, genuinely kind and caring toward all, human animals and non-human animals alike, and our mutual, shared environment. She lived her life as a compassionate, empathetic, pacifistic, non-violent woman in more ways than most people can muster. She left behind so many people who cared about her they are almost innumerable. Shawna positively affected everyone with whom she came into contact, and made their lives better through that interaction, whether they realized it, or acknowledged it, or not. She was an activist at heart, always striving to help make the world a better place, in many, many ways.

That being said, Shawna was imperfect, as are we all, with all the faults and frailties and shortcomings and flaws that we all share, as part of the Human Condition. She always sought the truth, and would not want us to shy away from it now. However, I reserve the singular right to perceive her as ‘perfect’ in my mind’s eye, a shining shimmering diamond in the rough. As it is, it would behoove all to attempt the near-perfection she was working on. Her physical beauty was surpassed only by her inner beauty.

Shawna attended Nevada Union High School in Nevada City, CA (Class of 1990), and California State University at Chico (CSUC). She achieved much in her shortened life, as bright, smart, intelligent people are wont to do. If you were lucky enough to share in one of her life-adventures, you had no idea how lucky you were.

Shawna is survived by her family, her mother, Linda Hensley, her father, John Hensley, and her sister, Kristen Hensley, all of Shawna’s hometown of Nevada City, CA, companion, Seth Hanowell, of Davis, CA, and long-time friend, William Donnelly, of Chico, CA. A memorial service was held on Saturday, January 27, 2018 in Nevada City, CA.

She will be missed by many, but none more so than I.

R.I.P.

Shawna Hensley; Shawna D. Hensley; Hensley, Shawna Denise;

Sudden Light

I have been here before,
But when or how I cannot tell:
I know the grass beyond the door,
The sweet keen smell,
The sighing sound, the lights around the shore.

You have been mine before,—
How long ago I may not know:
But just when at that swallow’s soar
Your neck turn’d so,
Some veil did fall,—I knew it all of yore.

Has this been thus before?
And shall not thus time’s eddying flight
Still with our lives our love restore
In death’s despite,
And day and night yield one delight once more?

— Dante Gabriel Rossetti

——

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

— Henry Scott-Holland

——

Inscription For A Gravestone

I am not dead, I have only become inhuman:
That is to say,
Undressed myself of laughable prides and infirmities,
But not as a woman
Undresses to creep into bed, but like an athlete
Stripping for the race.
The delicate ravel of nerves that made me a measurer
Of certain fictions
Called good and evil; that made me contract with pain
And expand with pleasure;
Fussily adjusted like a little electroscope:
That’s gone, it is true;
(I never miss it; if the universe does,
How easily replaced!)
But all the rest is heightened, widened, set free.
I admired the beauty
While I was human, now I am part of the beauty.
I wander in the air,
Being mostly gas and water, and flow in the ocean;
Touch you and Asia
At the same moment; have a hand in the sunrises
And the glow of this grass.
I left the light precipitate of ashes to earth
For a love-token.

— Robinson Jeffers

“The End Of The World” (Skeeter Davis — Cover By Emily Linge)

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
‘Cause you don’t love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love

I wake-up in the morning, and I wonder
Why everything’s the same as it was
I can’t understand, no, I can’t understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when you said, “Good-bye”

[ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
(Why do these eyes of mine cry?)
Mmm, mmm, mmm ]

Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when you said, “Good-bye”

“I’m Into Something Good” (Herman’s Hermits)

Woke up this morning feelin’ fine
There’s something special on my mind
Last night I met a new girl in the neighborhood, whoa yeah
Something tells me I’m into something good
(Something tells me I’m into something)

She’s the kind of girl who’s not too shy
And I can tell I’m her kind of guy
She danced close to me like I hoped she would
(She danced with me like I hoped she would)
Something tells me I’m into something good
(Something tells me I’m into something)

We only danced for a minute or two
But then she stuck close to me the whole night through
Can I be fallin’ in love?
(She’s everything I’ve been dreamin’ of)
She’s everything I’ve been dreamin’ of

I walked her home and she held my hand
I knew it couldn’t be just a one-night stand
So I asked to see her next week and she told me I could
(I asked to see her and she told me I could)
Something tells me I’m into something good
(Something tells me I’m into something)
(Something tells me I’m into something, ahhhhhhh)

Something tells me I’m into something good
(Something tells me I’m into something)
To something good, oh yeah, something good
(Something tells me I’m into something)
To something good, something good, something good….

“Ain’t No Sunshine” (Bill Withers)

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
It’s not warm when she’s away
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And she’s always gone too long
Anytime she’s goes away

Wonder this time where she’s gone
Wonder if she’s gone to stay
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And this house just ain’t no home
Anytime she goes away

And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know

Hey I oughta leave young thing alone
But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, woh woh

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
Only darkness every day
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And this house just ain’t no home
Anytime she goes away

Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away

“Long Long Time” (Linda Ronstadt)

Love will abide, take things in stride
Sounds like good advice but there’s no one at my side
And time washes clean love’s wounds unseen
That’s what someone told me but I don’t know what it means

Cause I’ve done everything I know to try and make you mine
And I think I’m gonna love you for a long long time

Caught in my fears
Blinking back the tears
I can’t say you hurt me when you never let me near
And I never drew one response from you
All the while you fell all over girls you never knew

Cause I’ve done everything I know to try and make you mine
And I think it’s gonna hurt me for a long long time

Wait for the day
You’ll go away
Knowing that you warned me of the price I’d have to pay
And life’s full of flaws
Who knows the cause?
Living in the memory of a love that never was

Cause I’ve done everything I know to try and change your mind
And I think I’m gonna miss you for a long long time

Cause I’ve done everything I know to try and make you mine
And I think I’m gonna love you for a long long time

“Don’t You” (Simple Minds)

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh woh

Won’t you come see about me?
I’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love’s strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Will you recognize me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh woh

Don’t you try and pretend
It’s my feeling we’ll win in the end
I won’t harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security

Don’t you forget about me
I’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I’ll put us back together at heart, baby

Don’t you, forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t you, forget about me

As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away

Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on, call my name
Will you call my name?

I say
(Lala la la lala la la….)
…Will you call my name?
…As you walk on by

“I Heard It Through the Grapevine” (Marvin Gaye)

I bet you’re wonderin’ how I knew
‘Bout your plans to make me blue
With some other guy you knew before
Between the two of us guys
You know I loved you more
It took me by surprise I must say
When I found out yesterday
Don’t you know that I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine
Oh I heard it through the grapevine
Oh I’m just about to lose my mind

Honey, honey yeah
I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine baby

I know a man ain’t supposed to cry
But these tears I can’t hold inside
Losin’ you would end my life you see
‘Cause you mean that much to me
You could have told me yourself
That you loved some one else
Instead I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine
Oh, I heard it through the grapevine
And I’m just about to lose my mind

Honey, honey yeah
I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine, baby

People say believe half of what you see
Son and none of what you hear
But I can’t help but be confused
If it’s true please tell me dear
Do you plan to let me go
For the other guy you loved before?

Don’t you know I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine, baby yeah
I heard it through the grapevine
Just about to lose my mind
Honey, honey, yeah
I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine, baby yeah

Honey, honey, yeah
I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine, baby yeah yeah
I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine, baby yeah yeah

“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” (The Proclaimers)

When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next you
When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver up, yeah I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I’ll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (when I come home) well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow-old (when I grow-old) well I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door